


The Real Deities of Universe 7

by Penaltygames



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Also: maybe ships later?, also please be nice because I'm not too far into DBS yet, au where everyone can at least tolerate everyone out of fear or something, feel free to comment or be inspired!!!, more tags to maybe be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-01 06:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13992423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penaltygames/pseuds/Penaltygames
Summary: A collection of ideas that stem from the idea that everyone in Dragon Ball can be at least somewhat domestic. From Beerus' perspective.





	1. The PTA Meeting (Prologue)

“Whis, are we there yet?”

A heavy sigh was heard from behind Beerus as the fastest being in the universe went as fast as he could. 

“Soon, Lord Beerus, though we’ve only been travelling for a minute or two. Is it because I did not pack you a snack?” Whis said in his usual matter-of-fact tone. Beerus grumbled in reply. Maybe it was because of his impatient nature that he wanted to be there immediately. Maybe it was because of his lack of a snack. Or, though the thought made him feel weird, he was anxious to get his meeting over with.

No, of course not, why would that be the case?

The backpack he held as tightly as Whis held on to him wiggled slightly. His excuse to get into the meeting was in there, and it would be a horrible thing so see it sucked into space should he not hold tight.

Kuriza, son of one of his most infamous underlings, was in that backpack. Frieza was reluctant to hand him over, but it only took the threat of a godly tantrum to get him to hand his first born child over.

Whis and Beerus jerked to a stop as they arrived at the point of interest. Beerus hopped off the back of his advisor and slung the backpack over his shoulder, a surprised yelp coming from Kuriza.

Here it was, the Universal Parent-Teacher Association Conference. Here gathered the strongest of foes and the most valiant of heroes. At least, those who had children. The Conference was arranged by Zeno, and everyone who could come did, lest they be erased from history. There was one for every universe, so Beerus could not invite Champa, not that he would want to.

It was a large, steely, arena-looking place, promptly created from almost nothing by the Kai. Beerus observed all sorts of creatures entering the large door. He noticed Goku almost instantly, and gritted his teeth knowing he'd most likely have to talk to him. He was the star of the show, after all. He was welcoming everyone in, even his enemies, albeit with a touch of intimidation. Goten floated around him, a smile on his face.

Was he really going to go in there? He could just give Frieza back his kid and forget the whole thing. But no, he had to find out what all this was leading up to. Once he found out, he could find a way to destroy it.

Teeth grinding, he neared the door.


	2. Grand Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One step in the door, and shenanigans have already begun to ensue.

It wasn’t long before Goku noticed Beerus trying to enter.

“Hey, Beerus! Nice to see you again!” He said, waving. A moment of thought crossed his face and he put his hands on his hips. “Wait, do you have a child with you? I can’t let anybody without kids enter.”

Beerus huffed and reached for his backpack. He pulled out Kuriza, who was trying to escape his grasp by squirming as much and as obnoxiously as possible. But,as soon as he noticed Beerus’ eyes boring into him, he stopped with a shudder. 

“My, my. You don’t take after you father in the emotions you show, little one,” Beerus said as he set Kuriza down, “But anyway, I was so graciously lended him by Frieza. For now, He is my child. This is Kuriza.”

“Oh, okay! So you and Whis are like babysitters while Frieza does something important! I guess I can’t argue with that, as long as you behave. There’s plenty of food in there, so help yourself!”

That was… Easier than expected. He coldly waved Goku off as he entered the building. As he passed into it, he noticed Goten glaring at him, apparently still unforgiving.

The first thing he noticed was the incredible amount of noise. It rang throughout the steely building, making Beerus’ ears uncomfortable. The second thing he noticed was a tug on his tail. He looked behind him and saw Kuriza holding on tight as they walked. He looked rather pathetic, as if he was still coming down from the panic of being stolen. He didn’t look like he was going to run away, though, so Beerus turned back around.

“C’mon, man! Just lemme bring Puar. Don’t you love his toe beans?”

He heard the voice of a human male yelling at Goku. He glanced back again and saw Yamcha, holding a rather round blue cat like a baby. 

“I do love them, Yamcha, but I’ve been given strict orders not to let anyone without a young child in!”

“He’s my baby, Goku!”

“He’s already been to school, though!”

“Fine,” Yamcha sighed as he grumbled off. From the way he sounded, something told Beerus this would not be the last of him.

Finally getting a chance to look ahead of him, he saw a conglomerate of quite a few characters. Cell had many Cell Jr’s swarming around him. He was yelling at them, telling them to stop doing this and that. He looked towards Beerus, hand outstretched.

“Cell Jr! No!”

That was when he found that a hole in his pants had formed, just above the knee. He looked down, seeing a blue bug had shot a tiny energy blast through his baggy pants.

Beerus found an irresistible urge to squish the creature that had so ruthlessly ruined a perfectly good pair of pants. 

He lifted his foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you know, We're past the prologue! Hope you enjoyed it! There's probably more to come!


	3. Beerus Spares a Child From the Cold Embrace of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cell is a bad cook and the meeting is about to begin.

Whis tapped him on the shoulder, silently asking for Beerus to be merciful and to not squish Cell Jr. Beerus sighed through ground teeth and set his foot down with a small ‘tmp’. He knew that if he caused any more disturbances than he did simply by existing in this area, he’d be kicked out. He’d never know what he could do to disturb the peace permanently if he moved to quickly or lost his temper.

Cell, along with another Cell Jr., were suddenly next to him, shaming the small, buzzing offspring. The Cell Jr. chittered back in some insect language. Cell picked him up and started to carry him off with his brother, but quickly turned back around. This jostled his two children.

“Ah, Lord Beerus, I do apologize for the way Cell Junior 1 has treated you. Even my direct children are not nearly as perfect as me in mannerisms--”

“Cell, I do implore you to be quiet around Lord Beerus, if you’re going to be that egotistical. Go back and eat some of your lemon bars. I’m sure nobody else will. They smell awful.” Whis said, cutting Cell off.

Cell was visibly offended, but kept his mouth shut as he walked away with his two rambunctious kids.

Beerus directed his attention back to the people surrounding him. The doors had since shut, and Goku was now in the room with him. The pressure from Kuriza’s baby hand was still on his tail, so Beerus didn’t look behind him.

There was a large table in the middle of the large metal room, and everyone was slowly milling towards it. Beerus and Whis floated towards the crowd and the table.

The meeting was about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Cell, look at me. Bitch"  
> \--Whis

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please give feedback (or ideas) in the comments! If you give ideas I use, I'll credit you!!!


End file.
